The Un-Mess In Stress

As you probably already know from my previous blog posts, I went through a lot of stress in the past three months. My OCD dominated over me like an omnipresent monster waiting to slowly take over my entire life and leave me stranded in the shambles of the sorry town that I had created.

Stress can do a lot of things to you. It can make you look hideous by causing break-outs and bringing out your ‘stress-eater’ side. But there are a lot of things that stress does best for you.

Because I was so worried about how on earth I was going to manage to pass in my mid-terms (half yearlies as they are called where I live), I studied A LOT.

During those two weeks of hard-core immense studying I learnt two things:

  1. Time-management skills: God knows how I managed to cram in SIX subjects (including all sciences, math and humanities – CBSE is tough) within the span of two weeks. I memorized history dates on my bus rides and solved trigonometry questions whenever I found even a five minute free time in my tightly packed schedule.
  2. Sometimes stress can really un-mess your life: I talked about, in Breaking Down, how because of my meltdown I managed to gradually subdue my OCD. It was because of the piling stress that I somehow managed well. I mean, there were times, and I’m not going to lie, when I felt absolutely drained and questioned whether any of this was worth it.

But at the end, I collected all my negative thoughts and buried them in a bag deep underneath all the Chemistry equations and English notes in my head.

It was because of this that I did fairly well in my exams. In fact, I am actually pretty proud of my grades but I am also fully aware that I could have done much better had I actually studied properly during my summer break.

But my point here is that stress doesn’t always have to be so bad. Sometimes, when this dark period subsides, your life becomes brighter than ever.

I had a few epiphanies after my exams were over and thus so was the stress that accompanied it.

love yourself first.

One was that I am in control of my mind. OCD cannot take over it without my permission. I had been giving it permission ever since I could remember. But after realizing the consequences of this imposter, I decided that I will give it no more permissions.

My OCD flourished on the factor of imbalance. I always tried to do one thing, and one thing only. If I decided that I was going to study then my mind would perpetually keep chanting, “You need to be an over achiever and get into an excellent university.” But at the end of the day, I would be exhausted from only studying and no relaxing that it would always hurt my results.

But after facing the stress, I have learned to maintain a balance in my life. I do still struggle (doesn’t everybody, though?) but I am happy that I have improved so much.

Remember: “Diamond is just a piece of coal that handled stress exceptionally well.”

P.S. none of the images are mine 🙂

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